good morning good evening and good night to everyone whose reading this blog ... heheh hows life goin for everyone ... mines getting better actually since the recent post breakup sessions. :) too all u who help and console and cared me back to my normal mood status i thank all of u with my greatest gratitude.
its friday im bored wat should i do ? online ?... moms gonna murder me when the bill comes(yeah i donthave streamx yet)its only 7pm ... and im already dead bored... called me ex to teman me to bleu for the 1st time ... and a few friends of ours of course and it was set... off we go.. and they actually planned to get me to a sauna for the 1st time too !! sentral hehehe here we go... bout 2 hours later we came back out was bout 10 something already( wat happened in there is another story LOL not for public viewing) came out all freshed out with an afterglow weeeeee heheh then off to dinner in jalan aloh.. there was this particular really cute daddy chub there serving the drinks cant help but to keep staring at him i mean all 4 of us which was kinda obvious... the guy came to us and ask us for our drinks we stared at him.... drooled ... stoned and fantasied all in less then 2 mins LOL hehehe yeah we had our dinner entertainment... HIM!! SO CUTE so so so cute hehe:) so after dinner walked to bleu anxious for my 1st time hehehe .. walk walk walk walk ..... tadaa bleu's staircase :) but its next to an arcade ... being a freaky gamer my self cant i was like"cant hold back... arcade pulling me in... arghhh" so off to the arcade for a game or 2 half and hour then come back out to bleu hehe went inside saw one of my friend G met his pals there and sorta introed me to then and was having my eyes on them *slurp* ... oops hehehe... went there lingered... kinda like the place really i mean u guys should give that place more attention man a little crowed is all it needs to make it great ... but since im the shy SOB there saw bob sani didnt dared to say hi and me pals was jumpin like monkeys on the dance floor just having fun ... me just listning to the music and stuff staring at the guys next table ... all u guys should know me im really shy hehehe so after all that chatting ands ff at the bar we went of fbout 1.45am went to the mamak and ate something had nice chatter with everyone ... forgot to ask number(stupid me) and we all went back happily and joyus heheh :)
now was the moral of the story ? dont be a shy idiot like me ... go get it or u'll be smackin ur self at the head feeling so stupid heheh :) enjoy guys ... hope to see some of u guys at bleu sometimes eh ? hehe
hugs
take care
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Imaginary Short Chat
Me - "Why pick me? And why should I pick u?"
Chub - "U're different. I'm single and wasn't looking, until now."
"Ok, err... I'll take that as a compliment. How different is different? Who am I being benchmarked against?"
"We could talk with each other, I mean really talk. I don't have to explain what I said twice or something. I can't compare, each experience is different."
"Heheh, the same brainwave? I guess so. What are you looking for actually?"
"In early days, I go for looks. Reality kicks in when the chemistry's not there. Now I look for companion. Sex is not a priority anymore."
"Heheh, sex is probably an overrated subject. But it all depends, rite? For someone who don't get enuff, they'll want it. For those who could get it anytime they want, then they probably look for other stuffs. May I assume that that's your case?"
"...probably"
"...I guess it's just human nature yang tak pernah puas dan sentiasa nakkan leb ih."
"So what about u? What do u look for?"
"Hmmm, a friend, a mate, a partner, a consort, someone who'd run alongside with me, not in front, not at the back. I'mnot really looking, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking. Being too independent has its drawbacks. Now I have to find and, at extreme cases, create reasons why would I want to be involved with another person. Hehehe..."
"Have you found any?"
"Probably. But I dunno whether that's for real or just my own creation. Subconsiously, I would want to. There are things that used to bug me don't bug me nomore, and there are things that I used to push aside that I've started thinking about. Heheh, evolution process at work, I hope."
"...I've learnt a lot from past experience. I'd say I've done 'em all."
"...eeeerrr... ok, heheheheheh... so apa yang tinggal? And why would someone who has and tried everything would want to go thru it again?"
"Don't look at it that way. I look at it as a totally new experience."
"Well, I'm not slim, not a chub, not a cub, not stocky, not burly, not muscular. And I know u like slims. Heheh, perhaps I dun wanna define myself in a too-simple context. Ala2 everyone ni macam katak bawah tempurung, cuma saiz tempurung je berbeza dan aku akan diadili mengikut benchmark personal experience diaorg sendiri. That 'holier-than-thou' attitude yg buat aku rimas. So, why would u compromise your preference, and go for something not really suited to ur liking?"
"...becoz priority dah berubah. Aku dah cakap aku dah tak tgk rupa lagi, at least tu bukan priority. Aku kena fikir LTR, kalu ONS tu lain le. Hahahaha"
"Ahahahahahahahah... yea betull... Nak ngadap muka tiap2 hari tapi borak bosan je buat apa kan? Baik takyah jumpa lama2 utk lepak2 dll. Jumpa utk projek aja. Very specific reason and focused gitu. Hahahahahah... Ntahle... lain org lain selera... seronok lepak2 perati org ni... Hehehehhe"
"So...?"
Chub - "U're different. I'm single and wasn't looking, until now."
"Ok, err... I'll take that as a compliment. How different is different? Who am I being benchmarked against?"
"We could talk with each other, I mean really talk. I don't have to explain what I said twice or something. I can't compare, each experience is different."
"Heheh, the same brainwave? I guess so. What are you looking for actually?"
"In early days, I go for looks. Reality kicks in when the chemistry's not there. Now I look for companion. Sex is not a priority anymore."
"Heheh, sex is probably an overrated subject. But it all depends, rite? For someone who don't get enuff, they'll want it. For those who could get it anytime they want, then they probably look for other stuffs. May I assume that that's your case?"
"...probably"
"...I guess it's just human nature yang tak pernah puas dan sentiasa nakkan leb ih."
"So what about u? What do u look for?"
"Hmmm, a friend, a mate, a partner, a consort, someone who'd run alongside with me, not in front, not at the back. I'mnot really looking, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking. Being too independent has its drawbacks. Now I have to find and, at extreme cases, create reasons why would I want to be involved with another person. Hehehe..."
"Have you found any?"
"Probably. But I dunno whether that's for real or just my own creation. Subconsiously, I would want to. There are things that used to bug me don't bug me nomore, and there are things that I used to push aside that I've started thinking about. Heheh, evolution process at work, I hope."
"...I've learnt a lot from past experience. I'd say I've done 'em all."
"...eeeerrr... ok, heheheheheh... so apa yang tinggal? And why would someone who has and tried everything would want to go thru it again?"
"Don't look at it that way. I look at it as a totally new experience."
"Well, I'm not slim, not a chub, not a cub, not stocky, not burly, not muscular. And I know u like slims. Heheh, perhaps I dun wanna define myself in a too-simple context. Ala2 everyone ni macam katak bawah tempurung, cuma saiz tempurung je berbeza dan aku akan diadili mengikut benchmark personal experience diaorg sendiri. That 'holier-than-thou' attitude yg buat aku rimas. So, why would u compromise your preference, and go for something not really suited to ur liking?"
"...becoz priority dah berubah. Aku dah cakap aku dah tak tgk rupa lagi, at least tu bukan priority. Aku kena fikir LTR, kalu ONS tu lain le. Hahahaha"
"Ahahahahahahahah... yea betull... Nak ngadap muka tiap2 hari tapi borak bosan je buat apa kan? Baik takyah jumpa lama2 utk lepak2 dll. Jumpa utk projek aja. Very specific reason and focused gitu. Hahahahahah... Ntahle... lain org lain selera... seronok lepak2 perati org ni... Hehehehhe"
"So...?"
Saturday, October 02, 2004
crappy ending to a great relationship
crap,... there goes my happily ever after... my shortest relationship of my crappy life ... was really think it was gonna be a bomb... i mean how does everyone feel when they are so happy with their relationship.. all of a sudden u woke up from a noon nap and ur happy to see ur bf to msg ... and u open it ...he says he wants to end the relationship and reluctant to tell u the TRUE reason...
when u get meet him up to talk bout it ... he just gave u false reasons... when u bug him to tell u .. u gives u MORE false reasons... in the end everything was false... how would any of u feel.. to end a relationship in 21days... and not knowing the reason.
Yup... i cried for almost a week now still cant forget him... and without knowing a real reason... the most recent one i got was that he has hernia... and he is reluctant to continue with me cause he is afraid that i might get trouble taking care of him(really i dont mind taking care of him.. i really do love him) i know ive been an ass bout bugging him here and there ... but hey he yelled at me for no apperent reason too ... i was asking around for the crappy reason(yeah i know im annoying ... cause i really want to know ...) and he gave me another false reason saying"i already have a bf im just taking u for fun only" yeah i believed it ... i cried more. Then everyone said that his still single advertising in mychub channel... crap it was another lie...
i know bitching around for something is wrong ... but i ask everyone who is reading this ... would u like to know the reason that the person u really loved ..why he wants to break up?... doesnt it bug u... well it bugs me for sure
i really hope we can patch things up again... if only he would give me a chance... or at least let me know the true reason ... so i dont have to repeat my mistakes with my future relationships*sob* im actually tearing when im writing this blog...
yours truly
peeky
when u get meet him up to talk bout it ... he just gave u false reasons... when u bug him to tell u .. u gives u MORE false reasons... in the end everything was false... how would any of u feel.. to end a relationship in 21days... and not knowing the reason.
Yup... i cried for almost a week now still cant forget him... and without knowing a real reason... the most recent one i got was that he has hernia... and he is reluctant to continue with me cause he is afraid that i might get trouble taking care of him(really i dont mind taking care of him.. i really do love him) i know ive been an ass bout bugging him here and there ... but hey he yelled at me for no apperent reason too ... i was asking around for the crappy reason(yeah i know im annoying ... cause i really want to know ...) and he gave me another false reason saying"i already have a bf im just taking u for fun only" yeah i believed it ... i cried more. Then everyone said that his still single advertising in mychub channel... crap it was another lie...
i know bitching around for something is wrong ... but i ask everyone who is reading this ... would u like to know the reason that the person u really loved ..why he wants to break up?... doesnt it bug u... well it bugs me for sure
i really hope we can patch things up again... if only he would give me a chance... or at least let me know the true reason ... so i dont have to repeat my mistakes with my future relationships*sob* im actually tearing when im writing this blog...
yours truly
peeky
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
