The MyChub Encounters

Hi, moks here. Wow.. seems like mashimaro has lots of fresh encounters that just I couldn't help to join. Well, mine not really an encounter but more like a revelation. I started to notice chubby guys when I was in standard 1. Early huh!. I used to have this crush on a chubby classmate of mine. I had read in an encyclopedia that this urge was called "Gay". So that's when I knew i was gay, but of course, didn't act on that urge that burned deep down, so what did i do? Suppress it....For years. So yeah...i tried to put it in my head that i wasn't gay, you know the whole spell. So this act lasted throughout my whole school years. Even though i checked out some cuties around school, i just didn't think i was gay. I even thought i really liked this girl. And to be honest, you know, if she said yes when i asked her to be my girl...i might be with her right now. But lets not go too deep into that. I am what i am.
Then I went to the University. Everynight, when i went to bed, I couldn't fall asleep. I would lie in bed, and stare, and stare and stare...For hours, till finally i would fall asleep cause i was soo tired. That or i would cry myself to sleep. Either way it sucks big time, and im not talking about in the good way. I don't know where I belong. I would lie there and just rack my brain and think to myself, "There's no such thing as fat gay guys." I didnt fit into the stereotypical "gay" guy. I was fat. I mean look at TV...do they ever portray a gay male as a chubby guy? Where was John Goodman' hot body,?!?! Nowhere to be found. Not in the tv/movie media sense. So to me...i felt as if i was some sort of outcast...a freak, weirdo...fat ass fag. Whatever...all of that was eating me inside, and i was a grumpy. So that's why my life consisted of, eat, sleep, shit, work, go fuckin insane...cry. My daily routine.
Then came my savior. Thank God for the Internet. Because of sites like Mychub, Chubnet.com and other sites like that...I came to find out that, "Hey, I'm not the only gay fat guy around here." Holy shit did that make me feel better. I just wanted to scream out..."I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!" That's a huge weight that was lifted off of me, and damn it felt good. I mean i wasnt out of the clear yet, but knowing that I'm not the only one like me, i felt alright. I felt I belong somewhere. It feels good all inside.

So if you guys ever had the same experience and wants to share with us, we would love to hear it - e-mail to: mychub@time.net.my

(thank you to a good friend - Kurt a.k.a KuJo from mysticinsanity.org - adapted from your log - FYI we all felt the same way)