Hi there, all! How are things? For me, so far so good! I have recently met a guy in KL! Chub to say the least! But well, let me just tell you that I think it is starting correctly! So far I have been to KL a couple of times and to prove his sincerity, he has come to Singapore too. We met in chat on gay.com.

Anyway, wish me luck! But something actually saddens me! I have spoken to him about mychub and its activities! He said he used to attend some functions especiallly with his ex. Pergi juga ke CM on Sunday. But he told me that he has absolutely NO interest in attending any more functions of mychub! Of course, saya mesti tanya kenapa??? He said it is due to the huge amount of bitching around of mychub members! Nothing I can do will make him change his mind about going to any function!

But I think I am lucky! His answer to me, "Kalau abang nak pergi ke apa-apa function, abang pergi seorang! Saya tak boleh halang abang tapi jangan paksa saya pergi!"

That is a very sad statement! Well, you cannot get everything, right??

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I wish as hell they were wrong... I'm much more nicer than this... hmmm...

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To Lyndon:
Pretense? I suppose everything is a bed of roses when you first met, then the 'attraction graph' goes down. I don't think he intended to play with your feelings, but more like 'having different goals'. To each his own, someone told me.

A bloody busy month, which was February and now, March. My free time was usually past 9pm, where I’d get myself dinner, and actually met other people from my workplace. Hardly go clubbing anymore, since there aren’t that many places I’d want to go to. Am hoping that Kings of Tomorrow or some house DJs would come over soon.

Went to Bleu a few weeks ago. Don’t really agree with the music they played, but the crowd seemed to love it. Somehow, the maths doesn’t add up. Loud speakers + 2am + Jln P Ramlee + PLUs = Dikir Puteri. To each his own, someone told me. But heard from some guys that the place was packed the recent Saturdays, and the playlist has improved.

Missed hanging out with the guys, really eases my stress and tense (a cheaper alternative than going to saunas and such!). I do drop in IRC once in a while, just to get latest updates.

Chatted with a guy over coffee the other day. Kinda chubby, he has a big frame. Round face, bout my height, fair skinned, Malay, smooth. Could pass for Afdlin with glasses if you look from behind.

Hanged out the Bangsar area these days to get glimpses of the F1 Grand Prix fever, and yes 'twas fun. Girls in minis (er?!), boys in shorts, bigger boys in shorts... the likes. Am expecting a much larger turnout over around Jln P Ramlee (12SI, Emporium, Nuovo, Backroom) area this weekend. Think Tequila on a furry chest. Okay, so I don't drink, but you get the idea.

Hi there! Well tak ada banyak nak ceritakan! tetapi saya ingin tanya sesuatu. Why do so many people make a pretense of the situation? Ini bukan kali pertama yang saya mengalaminya! The guy I met in Penang! It was nice for a while. Tapi sebenarnya, dia tak berapa minat sangat pada saya! Selepas jumpa beberapa kali, dia terus nak menghilangkan diri. Cinta tak boleh dipaksa! Baru-baru ni, dia tak nak menjumpai saya. Dia tak nak terima pangillan saya! He is a big pretender!

Saya tak boeh buat apa-apa? Kenapa ada orang yang boleh memainkan perasaan seseorang? Kalau tak minat, cakap aja!

But I am lucky! Minggu lepas saya jumpa seorang lagi di gay.com channel. He is a chub, umur 27. He seems nice! Last weekend, saya berada di KL dan dia pun menemani saya! I hope it will strike off. Saya akan ke KL minggu depan. Just hope it goes well.

Hi Semua, Saya sekarang di Penang! Saya telah menjumpa seorang chub di gay.com. Kami saling hantar e-mail sampai ada kali, 3 kali sehari. Saya pun ambil keputusan untuk jumpa dia di KL. Maklum, orang Selangor. Saya telah buat reservation di Vistana Hotel, tempat saya selalu menginap di KL. Tetapi, tiba-tiba, saya dapat e-mail dari dia yang kita kena batal perjumpaan kita di KL. Last minute, dia kena di hantar ke Penang untuk kerja. Tak tahu apa saya nak buat! Rasa macam nak batal perjumpaan kita.

Dia pun ajak saya ke Penang. Dia menginap di hotel di Penang. Dia kata company dia dah bayar! OKlah tu. Saya pun ke Penang. Habis keje malam pada hari
Khamis dan terus ke JB. Naik bas pukul 12 ke KL dan sampai pada siang pagi. Saya pun ambil keputusan untuk naik ke Penang dengan bas. Dia tu kerja. So samnpai lewat tak per.

Saya sampai pada pukul 3 dan duduk di Komtar. Dia suruh saya beli makanan ringan dan minuman. OK! Habis tu naik teksi ke hotelnya di area Bayan Lepas. OK. Sampai saya di hotel. Talifon bilik dia, tak jawab. Mungkin belum balik tu! Tunggu bawa sampai 45 minit. Rasa ada yang tak kena. Talifon bilik dia lagi. Ada pulak. Dia minta saya naik.

Well he is chub. Melayu dan tinggi dekat 5'10". Umur 30+, dan berat badan dalam 95 kg. Saiz pinggang adalah 39 to 40. OK. Malam itu kami pun bercakap-cakap dan dapat tahu antara satu sama lain. It was good.

Saya tak buang masa. Hari Sabtu dia kena kerja. Maklumlah....keje private bukan kerajaan! Saya pun ke bandar dan membeli sebuah kad. Saya beli dia sekotak chocolate Ferrero Rocher dalam bentuk HEART! Saya pun dapat sebuah bunga ros! Tak lama selepas dia balik, saya pun buat proposal! I think I am in LOVE!

Malam itu, kami pun pergi tengok movie Jennifer Lopez, Maid in Manhattan! I tell you, it was so romantic! It was a good night!! Dia telah pulang ke KL petang ini. Saya balik esok.

I THINK I AM IN LOVE!!

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"So apa kamu buat kat sini?" tanya pakcik tu.
(Err... membuat pasu bunga?) "Saja buang masa... dah lepas urut ni bagi keluar peluh pulak..."

"Ooo.. ye ke... hehehe. Kamu ni Melayu rupanya iyer? Camana urut tadi? OK? Kamu ambik sapa tadi? Dah lama sampai?" tanya pakcik tu lagi. Mid-40s, salt and pepper hair, plump without being too chubby, burly without being stocky, trying to look serious but his hands kept scratching the wooden panels... the nervous malu-tapi-mau type probably... I don't know whether he's trying to be friendly or actually interested to know my answers.
"OK, biasa aja. Kalau sakit badan bebetul saya ambik Salman atau Ah Kau, kalau sesaja nak releks badan nak tidur saya ambik Shahrin. So, arini ambik Shahrin."

"Oic, betul cakap kamu, I ambik Salman tadi, selalunya kalau nak ambik dia kena book awal2, kalau tak lambat le kena tunggu... lagipun dia urut semua sekali... semua sekali".
(Uh-huh... napa nak stress last sekali tu ekk? Nak suruh aku tanya ke? Koserss.. taula ko cute) "Oic, bagusla camtu... so, selain sini abang gi mana lagi ekk? Ada tempat2 bleh rekomen tak?"

"Ada tu ada, tapi jarang ke tempat lain. Rghupa kedai2 tu lain skit. Kedai nampak open sangat, lepas tu yg pergi semua muda2 lembut2, rasa tak selesa. Kat Subang ada, kat Selayang ada..."
(Rghupa? Rupa? Orang Perak ke ni? Jauh berjalan bang?! Hehehhe... Eh? Tak suka lembut2? Abang ke akak ni? Hiskk... ok gak akak ada misai nih... hmmm) "Oooo... paham2..."

"So Shahrin urut semua sekali jugak ke?"
(Ha'a... napa? Nak demo ke? Ke nak tolong bagi demo?) "Iyer, urut bebetul le, takla urut lebih2 yang lebih2... heheh". (Dia cakap dengan aku nih, tapi tgk tmpt arang batu tu pulak, bad eye contact tul, camana la nak jadik businessman?)

"Oooo.. so belum lagi la ni?"
(Belum? Belum apa la ni? Belum beli TV warna ke? Koserla soalan2 matematik nih) "Ha'a.. belum lagi..."

yesterday was not a perfect day to begin with. Went for my 2nd parking test at Ulu Langat and had miserably failed. I went out and knocked down a pole, pretty smart eh?....anyway, feeling down like hell and everything seems very wrong in every way after that. So I went home and called everybody that I could think of and blabbered about my shortcomings, not that they care but I had to tell evryone so i can get it out from my system. I was a bit calm after the 8th call and proceeded to gay.com after a friend suggested to me on hooking up with anybody just for comfort and a little bit more. So there I was just parking my nick and playing trivia at mirc and after about half an hour somebody ping me, well..what can i say...this guy was really aggresive in his approach and somehow deep down i was quite intrigued. But after several lines, i detected something funny about his chat line, i noticed that he kept on saying dear this dear that as if it sounded so endearing, well not to me, thank you very much. He wanted a meeting over coffee and I told him that I wasnt interested in having mere coffee and I couldnt be bothered to go all the way to KL for that cuppa. He insisted and told me how he adored my pic and went on describing things which was so flattery to me that I eventually agreed but I told him the meeting should be at my house and not at some coffee joint or a hotel as he had proposed. He agreed immediately and told me to wait for him for apprixomately an hour. Before he log off he mentioned to me that he was good looking with mix parentage and have a VERY nice body for he often frequented Dynasty hotel gym facilities. I was obviously smitten with the fact (as he had presented to me) that I would be meeting a 37 year old good looking hunk. Before anything, I have warned him that I'm a chub and told him not be dissapointed if I wasnt something that he would have expected. He told me he's quite cool with chub guys and told me that my body size doesnt count, it was my demeanour that attracted him in the very first place. So it was settle then, we agreed to meet and I caution him that I wasnt up for any sex or it's equivalent, he said ok, he just want to be with me and have an eye to eye meeting with me. After we finished chatting, I felt quite ecstatic and the things i said about not having sex with him, well it was just pure puny lie, hell, who in this world would decline sex when a sex object is infront of him. I did my usual routine of cleaning myself up and stuff and smiling to myself silly. Well, he did arrived at the supposed time he promised and with just one look I could tell it was him for he was not as manly as he described he was and the best part was that he didnt have a great body (he told me more than seven times that he possess an envious body thx to his gym routine). Hell, what the feck should i do at that time? ask him to go back to his home and said goodbye? It was the lie about his appearance that gutted me the most, i dont fecking mind if you're fat or slim, just fecking tell me the truth about your self, dont make me live with false hope and false fantasy and how do you expect me to carry out the fantasy when the make-believe wasnt there. I greeted him and invited him inside my house, and he got the nerve to ask me this : you like my great body baby? This is over-confident to the max man, his tummy itself is as flabby as mine, and he was as melayu as melayu get, what with the chinese look claim? He proceeded to tell me that he was horny and ask me where the bedroom was. In my mind i was like saying to myself: do I have to deal with this? I told him that I'm not up for sex and just want to have conversation as he had earlier proposed during our chat session. He paused for a while, then he said ok, let's talk in your bedroom. I should have seen it coming, but me being me reluctantly agreed to enter my bedroom with him. and he told me that my room is quite hot and he needed to undress in order to make himself comfortable. Can I say no? so there he was half naked and on my bed and keep on saying, come on baby, come to me baby let's make love baby.......what the feck is that? I told him off and ask him to leave but he resisted, he then said to me; 'if you dont want to make love to me, the least you can do is suck my cock' the nerve! anyway, i told him nicely that I'm just not in the mood and instead I swiched on my computer and show him some gay movies that I have downloaded. So he just sat quietly and stroke while watching the movie while i dont know what to do sit at the end of one corner and just remain clueless. I thought to myself, i have to get rid of him fast, he will obviously leave whenever he managed to cum. But after the third movie, he was still strong and there was no sign of him cumming. So I did the unthinkable, I went to him and grab his cock and started to you know what until he cum. He's one clever bugger. He left after that and as soon as he left my house, suddenly i felt it, i felt really really horny....while i was doing him, i didnt feel much of anything, just like an obligatory things to do in order for an objective to be achieved. At that moment i was up for anything, then, i received a call...and this call really made up my day.....i'm out now maybe i would continue about the call and its eventful result tomorrow......bye

Hello. Apa khabar semua? Well, last weekend, minggu ketiga, cutikan? Saya telah pergi ke kuantan untuk jumpa seorang kawan saya. Sudah setahun setengah saya tak jumpa dia. Dia baru pindah ke Kuantan 6 bulan aja dari Melaka. Anyway, sejak saya masuk ke Pahang, mulalah hujan. Saya pun tak buat apa. Saya sampai pada hari Sabtu dan terus ke rumah kawan saya.

Saya betul marah kerana hujan tak berhenti! Hujan berhenti pada petang hari Sabtu tu dan kita pun pergi ke telok chempedek. Tak der apa pun! Kami nak pergi Cherating pada hari Ahad tapi tak boleh kerana hujan turun lagi! Satu hari pulak. Anyway, hujan pun berhenti pada malam Ahad. Kami makan malam di sebuah restoran ditebing sungai Pahang. Dari tempat kami berdua duduk, saya nampak ada 4 kawan. 3 daripada mereka biasa. Ada yang pakai shorts, seorang pakai jeans. Tapi satu daripada mereka adalah chub. Dia tu mungkin 168 cm dan berat badan dalam 110 kg. Handsome betul. Dan yang best punya, dia tu memakai kain pelikat dan t-shirt! Betul handsome pulak. Saya asyik tengok dia aja. Ada kali dia bangun dan tengok saya. Rasanya dia suka saya tapi dia dengan kawan dia dan saya pulak dengan kawan saya. Saya dan kawan saya bangun dulu untuk balik. Dia pun lambai tangan. That makes my day!!

My Chub webteam, particularly Gemuk Chub, thank you for inviting me to somehow write my two cents worth in this blog, though i doubt that it would amount to anything but at least hmmmm...why do we like to say at least this, at least that, is it something heriditary or we r just being too freaking polite and doesn't want to sound too show offy when the real emphasise is obviously on the at least thingie and it seems we simply settle for the 'at least' when we didnt manage to achieve anything, how contradictory!. God, i'm rambling.....ok so back to business of writing this blog, allow me to introduce myself (at the same time advertise my slutty ass) and pohon restu from the seniors for i am just a budak baru berjinak ngan this community, i was a chub in denial(maybe i'm still am, i dunno) and still thinks that I'm a babelicious babe but reality hits hard when the amount of rejections (we can know from the eyes and the silent or akward treatment especially when courting unless the guy really appreciate chubs and the like) surpassing my ability even to say ello! But then, it didnt get the better of me, no fecking way, our demeanor is our saving grace and our endurance are priceless, a make believe reality. Anyway, I'm 26 and love having encounters with strangers but seldom will it last two dates or sessions, whatever u want to call it. Never had the privillege to acquire bf/s or maybe lacking the skills in maintaining a relationship, i dunno but it's as fickled as fickle get. Mostly I would assume the agressive passive role and would try ever so hard to please my many one time lover (touch and go). But I think i have ceased to be sooo a housewife, being assertive is quite a difficult thing to practise when you were like before this; when the guy you were with couldnt get it up after so much bragging and boasting from his side, and you smile instead and said takpe....i dont mind saying it if the person was a nice guy but when he was like too demanding in every way, where he sets precautions and rules in everything and you abide to that, and in returns, he freaking couldnt deliver, well...what is tHAT! just remember guys body contact between two people means two people working it to make it work not a literally sleeping partner who just laze around and make you do all the work. Hey aint nothin a free ride anymore, we have way passed that. Honestly I have to admit that I'm rather a shy person outside in the real world but can be pretty daring when i'm in the net, I have never hit anybody off the streets even if he was like this drop dead gorgeous being, i just took a disinterested glance and pretend that nothing happens when deep inside me it's like a Krakatoa ever ready to erupt again. My last encounter was with this guy who responded to my personal message in the mychubs personal ad or something, i coudnt feckin remember and yeah we did have some good jackin off session together (god i dunno whether i'm allowed to share explicit moments in this blog, i know zilch of the rules in here, so if i was way overboard with my anything, pls advise ok) but then it stops there, i's an ok encounter, not that great but ok and he doesnt mind kissing either. I've been like Julia Roberts in pretty woman who inferred that kissing is more for affectionate relationship and not for ons but then this guy started it, so i kissed him back and right at that moment i realised that i'm not a good lay....simply because i have forgotten how to really kiss and it affects my performance as well. Not affecting it completely but slightly affected. And that was like i dunno a week ago, and after that I couldnt be bothered to have anymore meetups, i used to have meetups at least 3 or 4 times a week, a full fledge meetups mind u, but now..hmmmm....maybe i'm getting older. Or maybe LOVE has become something of a requited necessity. I dunno.

Hi there. Well yesterday, Thursday I was in one of the chat rooms of gay.com. Anyway, I was talking a few people, and I had a message from a guy. We got talking. I was impressed to hear he was about 1.8 m and weighed about 120 kg. After chatting some time, he gave me his handphone number. He was going on his coffee break so asked me to call him. I called him. He sounded very nice. He asked me if I could meet him after work.

We arranged a place. i was skeptical. Would I be able to recognise him and he me? The time came and well yes that was him. It was raining heavily. He recognised me too.

As it was raining very havily, he was caught in the rain. So was I. Not much later he said he was feeling unwell, and there was a slight fever coming up. Anyway, as we had already arranged to meet, we took a cab to a shopping centre and sat down at a Coffee Bean for coffee. It was a sort of get to know you session. I enjoyed it. He wants to get togethr again next week for further action. I am quite amazed that I managed to get a chub in a chat room.

It's not too late to wish everyone 'Happy New Year', I hope. May all your wishes will come true, and may u have already fulfilled last year's resolution. I celebrated new year at Nuovo, Kuala Lumpur becoz a DJ was there (Joey Negro aka Jakatta) who played creme and 'house'-y music. Cover charge was RM60 per person with 2 drinks. Twas almost full house, and Jalan P Ramlee outside was full of people also. Across the road over at Emporium there's this drag show on podium, which I later found out was 'Mardi Gras 2002/2003'. Apparently glitters.com performed somewhere on the the streets as well....

Met a new friend a few weeks before through the net. Decided to meet up for a drink and more real-time face-to-face chat. A bloody nice guy, I would say, almost too good to be true (well, that's what I always said when I get to know new people, but this one is the best so far). A Malay bear (woof!), 170, no idea about his weight, has more than 18 hairs per square inch on his arm, wears glasses, short hair, great smile, stuble. Or try to picture Santa Claus minus 40 years. We chatted about everything from music to movies over a cuppa coffe and a plate of 'nasi lemak' (which he finished in about 2.30 min, I like people who enjoy food!).

"Errr, why do you like chubbies?"
"Dunno, I must have f**ked-up my brain or something. No-lah, may be I like what the images of chubs represent, sort of like a happy personality"
"But not all chubbies are happy all the time"
"I know, maybe I like what they represent. Confident funny witty chubs turn me on, especially those in Armani business suits and BMW M5s. Hahaha. Ok, so that one is a joke. My point is, attraction to physical is one thing, but personality or intelligence is another."
"But why chubs?"
"Uhhh, why not chubs? If I wanted a slim,might as well I jack-off in front of the mirror or something. Hehehe. Maybe I'm attracted to something different from me. Maybe. Beauty lies on the eye of the beholder, dear. It's not like I don't find Brad Pitt, or Antonio Sabato or Marcus Schenken-whatever not attractive. I do. But I don't find them desirable. At most, I would want to be like them, but I don't want them. At least, I would picture them as rivals. But I CAN identify a good-looking guy. I believe I'm not a psycho or a fetish."
"Hmm.. ok... whatever. Err, where do you wanna go after this?"

Hi! Apa khabar semua? Mashimaro seems to be having a good time! Well, for me not much to report. I met a guy whom I used to know a few years ago in Singapore. I was walking around looking for a cinema. I suddenly saw this guy. I knew him about 4 yeas ago. He was the boyfriend of one of my girl friends. He was tall then, and did not look very chub then. But on Tuesday when I saw him I was so shocked. He had put on a lot of weight. Now, he would be 175 cm, weigh about 120 kg, waist 42 inches. Last time his waist was about 36 inches. Anyway, we started talking. Talked about old times. I discovered he was no longer with my friend.

As I had my friends waiting for me, I told him I would have to meet him another day. We exchanged numbers. I discovered he has recently been retrenched. He is a malay guy. I told him I would try to meet him for lunch next week. But on second tthoughts, I think I will make it dinner.If he agrees. Let us see what happens later!

Catch you later!

KEPADA SEMUA!!

Happy New Year! May all your wishes come true!

KEPADA SEMUA, SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!

Hi there, Welcome aboard! Looks like we have a Filipino aboard! Kumusta!!

Well, just for info, I had an ex boyfriend from the Philippines. He is also from Visayas. (Bacolod City). Been there a couple of times. Anyway, the language is rather similiar to Malay. Anyway, that was a past of my life!

I hope you will contribute to this column more regularly.

Hi there! Syukur awak dah keluar wad dan hospital! Bila baca apa awak tulis ini, saya ingat apa yang berlaku pada saya 4 tahun lalu! Accident juga! Kaki patah! Masuk wad dekat 26 hari di Hospital Besar JB. Eh....seksa! Dengan sakit.....I wish you all the best! Saya faham apa yang awak mengalami!

Kenalah rehat banyak ni! Take good care!!

TO ALL!!

SELAMAT MENUNAIKAN IBADAT PUASA!!

Our young and talented writer - chubmashimaro a.k.a JoeChub a.k.a Chubbycub40 has met with a motorcycle accident (29/10/02). Although things looks pretty bad now. Has has gone through 7 hours of surgery... 6 stiches on the head and a metal plate in his arms, bruises on the face and body. MyChub reps (GemuK, Abu & Riez) were there with his mother who had flown from Sabah that very morning. When he finally woke up, It brought tears to our eyes when he said he would like to write his experience in this blog, and ask readers to wish him well. To all friends who are sincere to visit/donate - the address is UH, Wad 9U, Bed 32. To anyone who knew him, pls don't bother to call his handphone as it was stolen in the accident. Lets all pray for his life and hope that he will get better and stronger. We love your works and the sunshine you have sprinkled into our lives.