To Lyndon:
Pretense? I suppose everything is a bed of roses when you first met, then the 'attraction graph' goes down. I don't think he intended to play with your feelings, but more like 'having different goals'. To each his own, someone told me.

A bloody busy month, which was February and now, March. My free time was usually past 9pm, where I’d get myself dinner, and actually met other people from my workplace. Hardly go clubbing anymore, since there aren’t that many places I’d want to go to. Am hoping that Kings of Tomorrow or some house DJs would come over soon.

Went to Bleu a few weeks ago. Don’t really agree with the music they played, but the crowd seemed to love it. Somehow, the maths doesn’t add up. Loud speakers + 2am + Jln P Ramlee + PLUs = Dikir Puteri. To each his own, someone told me. But heard from some guys that the place was packed the recent Saturdays, and the playlist has improved.

Missed hanging out with the guys, really eases my stress and tense (a cheaper alternative than going to saunas and such!). I do drop in IRC once in a while, just to get latest updates.

Chatted with a guy over coffee the other day. Kinda chubby, he has a big frame. Round face, bout my height, fair skinned, Malay, smooth. Could pass for Afdlin with glasses if you look from behind.

Hanged out the Bangsar area these days to get glimpses of the F1 Grand Prix fever, and yes 'twas fun. Girls in minis (er?!), boys in shorts, bigger boys in shorts... the likes. Am expecting a much larger turnout over around Jln P Ramlee (12SI, Emporium, Nuovo, Backroom) area this weekend. Think Tequila on a furry chest. Okay, so I don't drink, but you get the idea.

Hi there! Well tak ada banyak nak ceritakan! tetapi saya ingin tanya sesuatu. Why do so many people make a pretense of the situation? Ini bukan kali pertama yang saya mengalaminya! The guy I met in Penang! It was nice for a while. Tapi sebenarnya, dia tak berapa minat sangat pada saya! Selepas jumpa beberapa kali, dia terus nak menghilangkan diri. Cinta tak boleh dipaksa! Baru-baru ni, dia tak nak menjumpai saya. Dia tak nak terima pangillan saya! He is a big pretender!

Saya tak boeh buat apa-apa? Kenapa ada orang yang boleh memainkan perasaan seseorang? Kalau tak minat, cakap aja!

But I am lucky! Minggu lepas saya jumpa seorang lagi di gay.com channel. He is a chub, umur 27. He seems nice! Last weekend, saya berada di KL dan dia pun menemani saya! I hope it will strike off. Saya akan ke KL minggu depan. Just hope it goes well.

Hi Semua, Saya sekarang di Penang! Saya telah menjumpa seorang chub di gay.com. Kami saling hantar e-mail sampai ada kali, 3 kali sehari. Saya pun ambil keputusan untuk jumpa dia di KL. Maklum, orang Selangor. Saya telah buat reservation di Vistana Hotel, tempat saya selalu menginap di KL. Tetapi, tiba-tiba, saya dapat e-mail dari dia yang kita kena batal perjumpaan kita di KL. Last minute, dia kena di hantar ke Penang untuk kerja. Tak tahu apa saya nak buat! Rasa macam nak batal perjumpaan kita.

Dia pun ajak saya ke Penang. Dia menginap di hotel di Penang. Dia kata company dia dah bayar! OKlah tu. Saya pun ke Penang. Habis keje malam pada hari
Khamis dan terus ke JB. Naik bas pukul 12 ke KL dan sampai pada siang pagi. Saya pun ambil keputusan untuk naik ke Penang dengan bas. Dia tu kerja. So samnpai lewat tak per.

Saya sampai pada pukul 3 dan duduk di Komtar. Dia suruh saya beli makanan ringan dan minuman. OK! Habis tu naik teksi ke hotelnya di area Bayan Lepas. OK. Sampai saya di hotel. Talifon bilik dia, tak jawab. Mungkin belum balik tu! Tunggu bawa sampai 45 minit. Rasa ada yang tak kena. Talifon bilik dia lagi. Ada pulak. Dia minta saya naik.

Well he is chub. Melayu dan tinggi dekat 5'10". Umur 30+, dan berat badan dalam 95 kg. Saiz pinggang adalah 39 to 40. OK. Malam itu kami pun bercakap-cakap dan dapat tahu antara satu sama lain. It was good.

Saya tak buang masa. Hari Sabtu dia kena kerja. Maklumlah....keje private bukan kerajaan! Saya pun ke bandar dan membeli sebuah kad. Saya beli dia sekotak chocolate Ferrero Rocher dalam bentuk HEART! Saya pun dapat sebuah bunga ros! Tak lama selepas dia balik, saya pun buat proposal! I think I am in LOVE!

Malam itu, kami pun pergi tengok movie Jennifer Lopez, Maid in Manhattan! I tell you, it was so romantic! It was a good night!! Dia telah pulang ke KL petang ini. Saya balik esok.

I THINK I AM IN LOVE!!